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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Corruption remains a widespread issue in some countries. What fosters corruption, and what measures can be taken to combat it and promote transparency in government and business?

In recent years, the topic of
corruption
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 has emerged as a significant concern for the general public
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it undermines social justice and economic development.
This
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 essay will look at the main reasons behind
this
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 issue and suggest some practical solutions to tackle it effectively. There are two main reasons why
corruption
Use synonyms
 is so common.
First,
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a lack of transparency in how the government works is a major factor. When the process of spending public money is kept secret, it is very easy for officials to take bribes or steal funds without being caught.
Second,
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low salaries for public servants often lead to dishonesty.
For example
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, in some developing countries, police officers or office workers earn so little that they feel forced to ask for "extra payments" from citizens just to support their families.
However
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, there are several ways to deal with
this
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 problem. One effective solution is the use of technology,
such
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 as "e-government." If people can pay taxes or apply for business licenses online, they do not have to meet officials in person.
This
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 reduces the chance
for
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of
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 anyone
to ask
Wrong verb form
asking
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 for a bribe. Another important step is stricter laws and punishments. Governments need to ensure that anyone caught in corrupt activities, no matter how high their position, faces a fair trial and a heavy penalty.
This
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 would act as a strong warning to others. In conclusion,
corruption
Use synonyms
 is caused by weak management and financial pressure on workers.
However
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, by increasing transparency through technology and enforcing laws more strictly, we can reduce
corruption
Use synonyms
 and build a fairer society.

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improvement
Add more detail and proof. Give simple facts about how corruption happens and some clear steps to stop it. Add more facts about government and business.
structure
Pair each reason with a clear fix. For each point, say the problem, then the fix in one line.
style
Use more linking words to show flow. Use First, Next, Also, But, Finally to help reading.
content
End with a strong last line that repeats the plan to fight corruption and make life fair for all.
structure
Clear plan with two causes and two fixes.
style
Text is easy to read with short, simple lines.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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