IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table depicts the number of workers and industries manufacturing silk in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.

What stands out is that the total
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of workers has been almost divided by 3 from 130.750 in 1851 to 38.942 in 1901. In
parallel
Punctuation problem
parallel,
show examples
 the table shows that the proportion of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 tremendously from 53.964 in 1851 to 13.375 in 1901.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the female
number
Use synonyms
 shows the same path
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 surged from 76.786 in 1851 to 25.567 in 1901. Turning to another aspect related to
factories
Use synonyms
, despite the
number
Use synonyms
 of total employees
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 sharply, the
factories
Use synonyms
 more than doubled at
outset
Correct article usage
the outset
show examples
 from 272 to 623
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the period. It illustrates that the production of silk was increasing
while
Linking Words
 a tendency
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
factories
Use synonyms
 to reduce the
Use synonyms
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
workforce.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of total personnel has soared
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
has had
show examples
 a huge rise over the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, factories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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