IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language, because some students don't have a natural ability for languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most
people
Use synonyms
 argue that schools should not have to make children learn second or third languages because of
lacking
Verb problem
their limited
show examples
 ability to learn naturally. I reckon that children should always be under the influence
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 excessive freedom can make them lazy and unsuccessful. I partially disagree with that statement because and
this
Linking Words
 essay will explore my views. More and more
people
Use synonyms
 think
in
Correct word choice
that in
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 order to learn something, teenagers should have to own skills or
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 consequence can be impactful
someone
Change preposition
for someone
show examples
 who only follows their rules or follows their desires. Nowadays, individuals have a variety
prospects
Change preposition
of prospects
show examples
 and opportunities,
only
Correct word choice
but only
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 when they work hard and focus deeply
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they can
Correct word order
can they
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 achieve everything they want. In some European countries, school classrooms are divided by only interests. Learners can pick which subject or
language
Use synonyms
 to learn. That type of school considers that forcing
to
Check wording
students to
show examples
 learn something they don’t prefer is not efficient
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other languages are important for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 to build a solid career path. In the process of learning, children can broaden their horizons as well, since they learn other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 and
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 the
way
Punctuation problem
way,
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 another culture. Young
people
Use synonyms
 bear in mind jargon or other terms quickly than older
people
Use synonyms
. Because, in
this
Linking Words
 period, their brains are flexible and
even can
Correct word order
can even
show examples
 learn new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 in about 5 months, minimum.
However
Linking Words
, schools don’t directly have to demand
Correct word choice
that them
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them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn
Use synonyms
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 compulsorily. If tutors engage students in game mode and encourage them by giving
reward
Correct article usage
a reward
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the lesson, students are likely to start loving the other
language
Use synonyms
 as well. In conclusion,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should not completely ignore them, but they
motivate
Verb problem
should motivate
show examples
 and encourage them in
engaging
Correct article usage
an engaging
show examples
 way.

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weakness
State a clear view on the topic in the first paragraph.
tip
Link ideas with words like also, but, so to join sentences.
tip
Use examples that show why learning languages matters, such as future jobs or life in other places.
tip
Keep one idea per paragraph and end with a short sum up sentence.
content
Some good ideas are in the essay, such as the point that learning languages can open you to other cultures.
structure
There is a clear plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • languages
  • stress
  • ability
  • learn
  • students
  • important
  • skills
  • choice
  • subjects
  • parents
  • teachers
  • discover
  • strengths
  • results
  • happiness
What to do next:
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