IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The data in the pie charts describe the electrical power
gotten
Verb problem
generated
show examples
 from all sources and
renewables
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main
source
Use synonyms
 of
Germany
Use synonyms
's
energy
Use synonyms
 supply was from conventional thermal,
while
Linking Words
 that of
France
Use synonyms
 was mainly from nuclear sources.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
renewables
Use synonyms
 that generated the most
electricity
Use synonyms
 for
Germany
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 biomass,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
for France
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 was hydroelectric. Looking at all the sources of power used in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
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france
Fix capitalization
France
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, conventional thermal was the most popular type in the former, with 59.6% of the country's
electricity
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 derived from it
compared
Punctuation problem
, compared
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 to
Use synonyms
France
Punctuation problem
France,
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were
Use the right word
where
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 it was the least
Use synonyms
source
Correct word choice
popular source
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 of
energy
Use synonyms
, generating 10.3% of the 560 billion kWh of
energy
Use synonyms
 used in the nations.
However
Linking Words
, Nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 was the major
source
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 of power in
France
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, producing 76.0% of the country's
energy
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,
while
Linking Words
 the same type of
energy
Use synonyms
 only contributed to 23.0% in
Germany
Use synonyms
's
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
Renewables
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 used more in
Germany
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 than
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
in France
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,
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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energy
Use synonyms
 production never exceeded 17.4% in both countries, accounting for the least
source
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 of
energy
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 in
France
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. Paying
further
Linking Words
 attention to the amount of
electricity
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 generated by
renewables
Use synonyms
 in both countries,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 at 80.5%, hydroelectric made up the largest share of
France
Use synonyms
's renewable
energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
, in
Gemrany
Correct your spelling
Germany
 it only generated 17.7%. Meanwhile, biomass was the main renewable
source
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 of
energy
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 in
Germany
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, surpassing wind by less than 3%. Solar and geothermal
renewables
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 contributed the smallest share to both
countries
Check wording
countries'
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energy
Use synonyms
. Despite wind generating more
energy
Use synonyms
 than biomass, their production ranged between 10.5% and 8.1%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words renewables, germany, france, source, energy, electricity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity generation
  • renewable sources
  • conventional thermal
  • nuclear power
  • hydroelectric power
  • biomass
  • wind energy
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • significant
  • contributor
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