IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Advancements in artificial intelligence and machine learning will likely lead to even greater dependency as tasks become more automated. I think it would not change in the future,
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
however
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 it would increase more. In my opinion, it is bad
instead
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 of good to depend too much on computers. In
this
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 modern world, people prefer faster results rather than being laborious to get the outcome from manual work, which indicates clearly that there would not be any
ammendments
Correct your spelling
amendments
 in choices of relying on automatic machines, but individuals would rapidly choose to complete their tasks with the help of virtual platforms.
For example
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, teaching has become more popular through online education
instead
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 of continuing
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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 method of learning
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is
face to face
Use the right word
face-to-face
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 learning sessions.
Therefore
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, the above observation shows that there would be no change in the future
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; instead
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instead
Punctuation problem
instead,
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 people would become more dependent on
computer- based
Use the right word
computer-based
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 technology. In my opinion, it would impact
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human health, including
mental
Correct pronoun usage
both mental
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 and physical both
if
Punctuation problem
, if
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 people continue to
provide
Verb problem
give
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 preference to machine learning.
Besides
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 that, not only
it would
Correct word order
would it
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 impact the youngsters in terms of health
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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also
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 the elders would be impacted.
For instance
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, Laziness become a primary factor to continue adapting virtual lifestyle, and human touch would be eliminated from
world
Correct article usage
the world
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.
Thus
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, there are only negatives if we depend on computers to a greater extent, and there will be only bad. In conclusion,
although
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 individuals
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 accepted the dependency on automated technology
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 indicates no change
further
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 in future,but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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there is no denying that it
is not
Verb problem
has
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 a
positive
Correct word choice
negative
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 impact in terms of human health and
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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 lifestyle of all ages.

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task
Be clear with your view from start and stay on it.
structure
Make a plan with three parts: intro, main idea, end. Use one to three main ideas.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas go together and follow one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix grammar: use the right tense and subject-verb form and use plural when needed.
content
Give a real example that fits your idea and keep the words simple.
mechanics
Check spelling and use punctuation well.
content
The essay shows a clear view that too much use of tech can be bad.
example
Online education is used as a modern example.
motive
You try to connect idea to health and life.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Machine Learning
  • Automated
  • Internet of Things (IoT)
  • Telecommuting
  • Digital Technology
  • Virtual Workplaces
  • Computer-assisted
  • Healthcare Industry
  • Reliance
  • Privacy
  • Human Interaction
  • Job Displacement
  • Automation
  • Digital Divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Internet Safety
  • Digital Crime
  • Ethical Considerations
  • Environmental Impacts
  • E-waste
  • Carbon Footprint
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