IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Say what you have learned in your present job. Suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different development. Explain why you do not wish to leave the company.

Dear Mr Smith, I am writing
this
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 letter to express my interest in transferring to a different department within our
company
Use synonyms
 for my career development. I am hoping that you will help me with that. Over the past two years in my current role as an Assistant Project Manager, I have gained valuable experience in project management
along with
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 client relations, data analysis and requirement analysis.
This
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 role has helped me develop a strong understanding of how our industry works and how to effectively carry out important projects, which I believe can be beneficial in other areas of our
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
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. I am particularly interested in moving to the System Analysis and Development team because I believe my skills and experience align well with the work being done there. By making
this
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 transition, I can contribute fresh insights
while
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 expanding my expertise, ultimately adding more value to the
company
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.
Moreover
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, a new challenge will allow me to grow professionally
while
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 remaining committed to our
company
Use synonyms
's goals. I deeply appreciate the opportunities I have had here and would love to continue my journey within the
company
Use synonyms
. If possible, I would appreciate a discussion on how we can make
this
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 transition smooth and beneficial for both sides. I look forward to your positive response. Yours sincerely, William Oscar

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task
The plan is clear. To raise score, add one or two exact results you want from the move, like a timeline or a key project you will lead.
coherence
Link ideas with simple signs, like first, next, also, in addition and keep each paragraph to one main idea.
tone
Clear aim to move and polite tone.
structure
Good form: start, body, and end.
content
Shows value to the company and personal growth.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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