IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of food consumption by each group of people in the UK over the years 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,a notable feature is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
women hold the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 for fruit and vegetables each
year
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,children showed the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 of that.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, more than 20% of women were eating fruit and vegetables
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily basis
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in the
year
Use synonyms
 2001.The rate had been gradually rising in the following
year
Use synonyms
 before reaching
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 at more than 30%.After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
diclined
Correct your spelling
declined
 slightly to 30%.
By contrast
Linking Words
,the proportion of less
Use synonyms
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 of these
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
 was children
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under 15%,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 didn't depict any change between 2001 to 2003.The same structure
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 followed by men's percentage at 18% ,in the same years .From the
year
Use synonyms
 2004 , the rate started climbing significantly at almost 27% before a slight decrease
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 under 25%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in the
year
Use synonyms
 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, consumer, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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