IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What problems does this cause? What can be done about the problems?

Migration of
people
Use synonyms
 from rural to urban
areas
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 for better work opportunities is creating issues in both
areas
Use synonyms
. Like, in
Use synonyms
cities
Punctuation problem
cities,
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 increased traffic, strained public
services
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 and in villages
less
Punctuation problem
, less
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 development and a shrinking population. But
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved in both places by increasing taxes and creating jobs , respectively. High Traffic congestion and struggling public
services
Use synonyms
 are the major
problems
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 faced by
cities
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due to
Linking Words
 the increased influx of
people
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 from rural
areas
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. More residents
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
show examples
 more use of vehicles and public
services
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Mumbai is the top-ranking city of India in traffic jams
also
Linking Words
 has exhausted civil
services
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 because the number of
people
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 living in
this
Linking Words
 city is increasing every year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, abandoning the villages can
also
Linking Words
 hinder their development because authorities show less interest in providing funds in an area where the population is declining
with
Change preposition
over
show examples
 time. The
problems
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 related to urban
cities
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 can be solved by increasing
the tax
Check wording
taxes
show examples
 because it will discourage citizens from settling in the main city. When the living expenses go up,
people
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 will not afford the lifestyle in the
cities
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government can make policies to create more job opportunities in less developed
areas
Use synonyms
. If
people
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 find suitable jobs in their own town, they will be less likely to want to move to
cities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Canada has increased taxes in Toronto. Now
people
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 are moving to nearby towns because new industries are being set up in these towns. where tax is comparatively low. In conclusion, undoubtedly, rural to urban migration is causing heavy
problems
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 in both the lands , but the associated
problems
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 can be solved by developing the rural
areas
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 and enforcing high taxation in
cities
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.

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planning
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that says what you will talk about, then two or three body parts, then a short end.
structure
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Use linking words like also, but, so, therefore to show how ideas go with each other.
content
Check facts and use true or general examples. Do not use cases you are not sure about and explain how they show your point.
structure
Order is close to the mark, with start, mid and end
content
Examples are used to show ideas
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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