IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What problems does this cause? What can be done about the problems?

Migration of
people
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural to urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 for better work
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 is creating issues in both areas. Like, in
cities
Use synonyms
 increased
taffic
Correct your spelling
traffic
, strained public
services
Use synonyms
 and in villages less development and
shrinking
Correct article usage
a shrinking
show examples
 population.
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem can be
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
show examples
 in both places by increasing
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and creating jobs
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. High Traffic congestion and struggling public
services
Use synonyms
 are the major
problems
Use synonyms
 faced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 influx of
people
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas. More
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
residents means more use of
vehical
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 and public
services
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example, Mumbai is the
top ranking
Use the right word
top-ranking
show examples
 city of India in traffic jams
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 exhausted civil
services
Use synonyms
 because
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 living in
this
Linking Words
 city is increasing every year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
abondoning
Correct your spelling
abandoning
the villages can
also
Linking Words
 hinder
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 development because
authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 less interest in providing funds in an area where
population
Correct article usage
the population
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declining
Verb problem
is declining
show examples
 with time. The
problems
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 related to urban
cities
Use synonyms
 can be solved by increasing the
tax
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 because it will discourage citizens
to settle
Change preposition
from settling
show examples
 in
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 city. When the living expenses
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
up
Punctuation problem
up,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will not afford the lifestyle in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
moreover
Fix capitalization
Moreover
show examples
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can make policies to create more job
oppurunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in less developed
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
.
if
Fix capitalization
If
show examples
pepople
Correct your spelling
people
 find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable jobs in their own
town
Punctuation problem
town,
show examples
 they will
less
Verb problem
be less
show examples
 likely
want
Verb problem
to want
show examples
 to move to
cities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Canada has increased
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 in Toronto. Now
people
Use synonyms
 are moving to nearby towns because new industries are being
settting
Correct your spelling
set
 up in these towns. where
tax
Use synonyms
 is
compartively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 low.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 conclusion, undoubtedly, rural to urban migration is causing heavy
problems
Use synonyms
 in both the lands
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the associated
problems
Use synonyms
 can
solved
Verb problem
be solved
show examples
 by developing the rural areas and enforcing high taxation in
cities
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a short opening that states the topic. Then use clear parts: one part on the problem, one part on the fix. End with a simple conclusion.
coherence
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Use linking words to show how ideas are tied.
language
Use easy words and fix any spelling or grammar mistakes. Check forms like 'opportunity', 'influx', 'tax' and others.
content
Some good ideas on both city and village sides.
examples
Use of real places as examples helps to show the issue.
structure
The essay has a clear start and end.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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