IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Increasing the prices of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. to what extent do you agree or disagree? what other measures do you think might be effective?

Some
people
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 think that one of
thebest
Correct your spelling
the best
 solutions to
traffic
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 and
pollution
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issues
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 is increasing the price of petrol. In my opinion,
while
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 I believe that increasing the
prices
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 of petrol is a solution to these
issues
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, there are better methods to solve these growing problems. Changing the
prices
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 is a valid way to try and resolve these
issues
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.
As a result
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,
less
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fewer
show examples
people
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 would choose to use their own cars.
Instead
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, they would either choose public transport or other means of transportation,
such
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 as walking and car pooling.
Consequently
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,
less
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fewer
show examples
 cars would be used
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
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 in a decrease in both
traffic
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 and
pollution
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. Admittedly,
this
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 would not be a solution most
people
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 would agree with.
On the other hand
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, a better way to solve these
issues
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 is to make larger roads, because it would allow for a better flow of
traffic
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, and help with the
pollution
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 problem. Another solution is making public transport the more conventional choice. By making them more
accessable
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accessible
, namely, lowering their
prices
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 and adding more
frequant
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frequent
 stops, an increasing
amount
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number
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 of
people
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 would use them.
Therefore
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, the roads would have
fewer
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less
show examples
traffic
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 and the amount of
pollution
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 would decrease. In conclusion,
although
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 increasing the
prices
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 of petrol is a solid way of solving these problems, there are better ways to find solutions.

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task response
Your view on the topic is not clear. Say how much you agree in a sentence in the intro. Then keep this view in every paragraph.
task response
Give more real ideas and examples. Explain how each idea may cut road use and pollution.
task response
The idea of making bigger roads is not well shown as a good fix. Explain why or give a better idea.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with relate words like also, however, but, so to show flow.
coherence cohesion
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and end with a small idea that links to the next paragraph.
idea
You write about more than one idea which shows you know the topic.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion which give the reader the plan.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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