In some countries, it is now illegal for employers to reject job applicants because of their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, rejecting job applications
due to
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prospective
emplooyes'
Correct your spelling
employees'
age is banned in some nations. From my standpoint,
this
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new application may be beneficial for the elderly people's mental health and
countires'
Correct your spelling
countries'
overall
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economy. I will elaborate on my reasons for thinking so in the following essay. There is no doubt that many elderly people can sometimes feel more
vulnarable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
and less confident.
This
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is because when they assume that they are useless once, their
self-confident
Replace the word
self-confidence
show examples
may
damage
Wrong verb form
be damaged
show examples
and
this
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can give rise to depression or anxiety.
However
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, when they have an opportunity to return worklife again, their sense of uselessness can disappear.
This
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can
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
a love of life in them, which
become
Verb problem
makes
show examples
them full of
happinees
Correct your spelling
happiness
and joy. The significant advantage of
this
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new trend is that it supports
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
This
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is because if
teenagaers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
in business life
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their early age, they will become
conpetent
Correct your spelling
competent
workers,
futhermore
Rephrase
apply
show examples
their work experience can be deployed by companies in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Use the right word
long term
show examples
.
Moreover
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,
this
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can have a huge impact on increasing companies' revenue.
As a result
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, the
govenment
Correct your spelling
government's
overall
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budget can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
flourish.   In conclusion, there is an undeniable fact that the implementation of new
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
about personnel age
is existent
Verb problem
exists
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in some
countires thesedays
Correct your spelling
countries these days
. From my viewpoint, it offers an opportunity to older people to enjoy their lives again and
suppors
Correct your spelling
supports
the government
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
creating a healthy economy.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Make a short plan with an intro, two body ideas, and a conclusion.
task
Keep to the task. Say your view and give two clear reasons.
content
Give examples that are easy and make sense. Use real but simple life ideas.
cohesion
Make ideas fit together. Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Use short, clear sentences and simple words.
vocabulary
Choose good but simple words that show you think, not to show big range.
content
Clear view on the topic.
content
Some good ideas about mental health and the economy.
structure
Basic plan with intro and conclusion.
cohesion
Effort to use linking in some parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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