IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than a high salary. To what extent do you agree with the given statement?

Job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 has become a subject of debate in recent years.
While
Linking Words
 I can
sympathize
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sympathise
show examples
 with both sides of the argument , I fundamentally believe that high income is an essential component of employee engagement and should be maintained for economic and educational purposes.
To begin
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 with, the first and foremost reason for the
significiant
Correct your spelling
significance
 of
job
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satisfaction
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 is that it enables professional growth for all
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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.To be more specific, workers need
the
Correct article usage
a
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job
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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 develop themselves and give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 ideas or realities to
Correct article usage
the enviroment
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
In
Change preposition
Additionally
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additionally
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 is
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 part of a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 work atmosphere .
For example
Linking Words
, nobody wants to work with people who can't be a part of the team since it reduces employee engagement, which is linked to low productivity. Despite the above-mentioned arguments, I claim that sometimes
well-paid
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a well-paid
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job
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 can be more important than
job
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fulfillment
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fulfilment
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. Some essential daily needs,
such
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 as
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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, self-development hobbies,
grocery
Correct word choice
and grocery
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Fix the agreement mistake
shopping
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shoppings
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shoppings,
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 are best examples of
economic
Rephrase
how economic
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 insurance is more significant
theese
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these
time
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days
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.
Furthermore
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, economic hardship makes people isolate
from
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themselves from
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 social interaction. To illustrate, individuals feel
inconfident
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insecure
 and loss of self-esteem to meet with their friends
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 these make them isolated
and
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, and
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 it
is
Verb problem
has
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Correct article usage
a directly
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directly
Replace the word
direct
show examples
 effect on their productivity. In conclusion,
altought
Correct your spelling
although
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 provides professional growth, I am strongly in favour of a work-life balance because it combines both personal development and financial
independent
Replace the word
independence
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 advantages. If employers provide
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 and
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
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 workplace atmosphere and financial
confident
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confidence
show examples
in
office
Correct article usage
the office
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
, the future of work engagement will be more inclusive and efficient.

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Task Response
State a clear view at the start and keep it the same in your ending paragraph.
Coherence
Build one idea per paragraph and give clear reasons and examples for each.
Language
Use simple grammar and fix easy errors to make the meaning clear.
Content
The essay shows an attempt to discuss two sides.
Structure
There is a clear plan with intro, body and conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Job satisfaction
  • High salary
  • Productivity
  • Motivation
  • Mental health
  • Well-being
  • Working conditions
  • Professional development
  • Sense of purpose
  • Financial stability
  • Long-term engagement
  • Career growth
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Work environment
  • Innovations
What to do next:
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