IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports while others think people should have freedom to do any sports ..discuss both view and give opinion

Many
people
Use synonyms
 suggest government
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stop risky
sports
Use synonyms
 from being available,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
people
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to do the
sports
Use synonyms
 they
like
Punctuation problem
like,
show examples
 whether it is safe or not. I believe that it should be
ban
Replace the word
banned
show examples
 as
this
Linking Words
 will keep the
participants
Check wording
participants'
show examples
 lives safe and not
further
Linking Words
 encourage any viewers to join in. Many
people
Use synonyms
 suggest
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 government
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
ban dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
 as they believe
sports
Use synonyms
 participants are only putting their lives at great risk. As they see the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 being in pain after participating, many
people
Use synonyms
 died and did not survive. They began to stress the importance of valuing life.
For example
Linking Words
, motorcycle racing held in the Philippines
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 very popular because of the collision and death of a famous racer. Others suggest that
people
Use synonyms
 should be free to participate in any
sports
Use synonyms
 of interest because life will be boring without any thrill
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 should allow them to step outside their comfort zone. Because
sports
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 will be able to know themselves better by being exposed to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more challenging activities and
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 their confidence and resilience level. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that the government should ban dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
 to keep
people
Use synonyms
 safe and not allow more participants to join. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 others think that allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to participate in dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more out of normal individuals, I believe that the impact it will have
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the viewer is negative.

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structure
Make a short intro. Say the topic and your view at once.
content
Give more detail to each idea. Add reason, effect, and more than one example.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go one to the next.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling and use easy sentences.
content
A clear view is shown.
structure
Both sides are talked about.
content
An example is used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public safety
  • serious injuries
  • fatalities
  • government responsibility
  • healthcare costs
  • personal responsibility
  • risk
  • thrilling
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • safety regulations
  • protective gear
  • slippery slope
  • personal freedoms
  • activities
  • restrictions
What to do next:
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