IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, people are purchasing fewer new items and more second-hand goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

It is observed that in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 countries,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy second-hand
items
Use synonyms
 rather than
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 brand new
items
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the reasons,
then
Linking Words
 both positive and negative
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
, and
Linking Words
lastly
Add a comma
lastly,
show examples
 I will conclude my topic.
People
Use synonyms
 buy used
items
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can save money by purchasing used
items
Use synonyms
 as they are cheap.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can get a chance to know how
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 brand works
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as a
person
Use synonyms
 can ask other
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 reviews about
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are more aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 as buying used
items
Use synonyms
 helps to reduce waste, pollution, and conserve resources. Buying used
items
Use synonyms
 could be a positive development.
As it
Change preposition
It
show examples
 gives an opportunity to individual to manage their expenses.
Use synonyms
Person
Correct article usage
A person
show examples
 can get a
high price
Use the right word
high-priced
show examples
 item
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a good price.
This
Linking Words
 helps to reduce family conflicts.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if all material
used
Verb problem
is used
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 correct order,
this
Linking Words
 helps to maintain a
heathly envirnoment
Correct your spelling
healthy environment
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
further
Linking Words
 in good health. On the flip side, if
people
Use synonyms
 don't buy new
Use synonyms
items
Punctuation problem
items,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 big companies can come in loss
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of businesses, and
thus
Linking Words
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 rise to
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, sometimes used
items
Use synonyms
 can be broken
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
 didn't mention
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. So,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 going to be
Correct article usage
a wasye
show examples
wasye
Correct your spelling
waste
 of money as
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 is no refund policy.
To conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 topic,
people
Use synonyms
 are purchasing used
items
Use synonyms
 mainly
due to
Linking Words
 financial issues and
environemental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 awareness.
People
Use synonyms
 buy new
items
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
because
show examples
 they can
last
Linking Words
 longer. If they don't like
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
 they can return
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your view clear in the intro and end. Say if the trend is good or bad.
task response
Give one or two clear reasons with simple examples.
coherence
Put each idea in its own paragraph. Start with a topic sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and opposite ideas, like first, also, but, so.
accuracy
Check spelling and grammar. Use short, simple sentences.
structure
There is a plan: intro, body, and conclusion.
ideas
The writer gives reasons for buying used items.
language
Some good use of words about money and env.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: