IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Would you prefer to stay in one company or change companies at one point in your career life? What are the advantages and disadvantages for both scenarios? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate around whether staying in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 company for years is beneficial or changing
work place
Use the right word
workplaces
show examples
 at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 point is advantageous.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and drawbacks of both options and will
also
Linking Words
 present my view on
this
Linking Words
 scenario.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the major advantage of staying in the company increases the chance of promotion,appraisal as a reward for working for a long duration of time.Working longer , they can easily meet the requirements and targets needed for promotions.The employing company often favours workers as they generally have a better relationship ,resulting in
appraisal
Correct article usage
an appraisal
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,there are certain drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case as it limits
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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 growth of an individual.Working in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 environment creates a familiarity which often gives a sense of comfort and confidence.
As a result
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,people
no
Verb problem
are no
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 longer
involve
Replace the word
involved
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 in advancing knowledge and skills.
On the other hand
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,changing companies at
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
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 time is beneficial for growth seekers. Working in different environments with different kinds of people
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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 learning outcomes.They can master
over
Change preposition
apply
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practical and communication skills .
For instance
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,travel nurses have to work in different settings
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 they are compelled to learn more skills to apply in various fields .
Likewise
Linking Words
,effective communication can
boosts
Wrong verb form
be boosted
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 when nurses talk to multiple patients at various places.
Although
Linking Words
,it has many benefits it is often percived as a discomfortable experience.Changing offices can lead to stress
initially
Linking Words
,as individuals have to deal with new people with different ideas .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 working environment can be as discomforting as working with new colleagues. Though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
both sides have merit points.I strongly believe that changing offices is more beneficial,owning to the fact that it can add valuable experiences which bordens ones job prospect.

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structure
Plan a clear map. Say your view in one line, then add two to three ideas with a short example for each.
structure
Put a topic sentence at start of each paragraph. Then add a small link to the next idea.
grammar
Use simple and correct grammar. Break long sentences into two shorter ones to avoid mistakes.
lexical
Check spelling of key words and use common words. Avoid hard or rare words.
cohesion
Use linking words like first, next, also, but, however, for example to help flow.
content
You present both sides of the topic and give a view.
examples
You use a real example (travel nurses) to support a point.
structure
You keep to the topic and end with a view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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