IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

IN MANY COUNTRIES, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays

In some nations, primary and secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 remain
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 for eight or more weeks. Long holidays are beneficial if
Use synonyms
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
 is too hot and unbearable for
students
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 vacations for
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 give
students
Use synonyms
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 for study. If
Use synonyms
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
 is hot
morethan
Correct your spelling
more than
 the capacity of
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
students,
show examples
then
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 should be asked to stay home and stay safe. Hot
weather
Use synonyms
 can cause heat
wave
Fix the agreement mistake
waves
show examples
 and heat
stroms
Correct your spelling
storms
 to
students
Use synonyms
, so they should have
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 of holidays
according to
Linking Words
weather
Use synonyms
 conditions
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
two
Use synonyms
months
Use synonyms
 or more.
For example
Linking Words
: in Pakistan
summer
Use synonyms
 season is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about five
months
Use synonyms
, but in the
months
Use synonyms
 of June and July,
summer
Use synonyms
weather
Use synonyms
 is
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 its extreme
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 of Pakistan closes
schools
Use synonyms
 for approximately
two
Use synonyms
months
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the vacation
period
Use synonyms
 of a school is short, its
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will have more
time
Use synonyms
 to study. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will gain more education and will have more
time
Use synonyms
 to improve their skills.In these
Use synonyms
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more of
Use synonyms
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 in their institutes and keep developing.
For instance
Linking Words
: in many
european
Fix capitalization
European
show examples
 countries with extreme cold
weather
Use synonyms
 like Denmark and Sweden, the
schools
Use synonyms
 are closed for only about
two
Use synonyms
 to three weeks during
summer
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in many countries there are
summer
Use synonyms
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
show examples
 of about
two
Use synonyms
months
Use synonyms
 or more
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
that is
Linking Words
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 of that nation
according to
Linking Words
 its climate. But if some nations have
fever
Correct article usage
a fever
show examples
summer
Use synonyms
holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday
show examples
, that will
be
Correct word order
also be
show examples
also
Linking Words
 good for that nation as it
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 more
time
Use synonyms
 to learn and build up.

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organization
Improve your plan before you write. Use three main parts for body ideas and keep them clear.
task response
Make your view clear in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas flow from one to the next.
grammar
Check spell and grammar. fix common mistakes like morethan, heat wave, storms.
content
Give more explanation for each point and tie your examples to the point.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of the issue.
content
Some real examples from different places are used.
structure
There is a final idea in the end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
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