The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the coment-making process, and how coment is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The two illustrations show the steps and
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
that are used in
cement
Use synonyms
production
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and how it is used to make concrete for building purposes.
Overall
Linking Words
, the steps involved in the
production
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of
cement
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start with the crushing of limestone and clay, and end with the packaging of end products in bags.
Moreover
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, concrete
production
Use synonyms
involves the mixture of different sediments in a mixer. Starting with how
cement
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is manufactured. The
inital
Correct your spelling
initial
stage commences with the mixing of limestone and clay into a crusher to be crushed into powdered form.
Consequently
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, the powder is transferred into a cylindrical-shaped mixer before being transported to the rotating heater. The heated product is moved into a grinder
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
to be grinder
further
Linking Words
into
cement
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
cement
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is packed into different bags and
ready
Verb problem
is ready
show examples
to be used. The
production
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of concrete for building purposes involves the mixture of 15%
cement
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, 10% water, 25% sand, and 50% gravel (small stones) in a large rotating concrete
mixture
Replace the word
mixer
show examples
. The end product, which is
concrete
Punctuation problem
concrete,
show examples
is
then
Linking Words
used to build houses.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, production with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • raw materials
  • grinding
  • heating process
  • kilns
  • clinker
  • gypsum
  • machinery
  • crushers
  • grinders
  • rotary kilns
  • ball mills
  • sand
  • gravel
  • versatility
  • civil engineering
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