IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a succesful career, while other believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that
people
Use synonyms
 take different paths in their lives after finishing high
school
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 tend towards the viewpoint that graduates should get a job after finishing
school
Use synonyms
, I would have to support the idea that continuing your
education
Use synonyms
 is a better choice in the long run. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that getting employed after finishing
school
Use synonyms
 has
it’s
Use the right word
its
show examples
 advantages. One of the main reasons can be that some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that higher
education
Use synonyms
 is a waste of time and should focus on learning a skill
instead
Linking Words
. Another reason can be that certain
demograhic
Correct your spelling
demographic
 groups tend towards financial stability.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals who’ve had financial lacks during their lives are more likely to get employed after finishing
school
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I agree with the viewpoint that getting a degree is a wiser decision
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
.
Linking Words
Firstly
Punctuation problem
Firstly,
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 I believe that higher
education
Use synonyms
 exposes a person to far more
oportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 than a regular job.
This
Linking Words
 is because you get qualified in a specific field
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
, you meet
people
Use synonyms
 from different parts of the world and interact with a wide range of perspectives.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 feel that going to university is a unique and beautiful experience despite the financial struggles that come along in the journey. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 it seems to me that continuing your
education
Use synonyms
 is a better choice
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, I have to admit that getting a job straight after
school
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has
it’s
Use the right word
its
show examples
 benefits.

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structure
Plan each paragraph with one main idea. For each view, give one clear reason and one simple example.
cohesion
Use linking words to help the flow. Words like also, but, so, for example, and finally can help a lot.
grammar
Check grammar. Fix small errors like its vs it’s, and use common spell for easy words.
task response
In the end, restate your view and sum up the points you made. Do not add new facts in the last line.
examples
Give a real simple example for each idea to make your point clear.
content
Clear view that education is important in the long run.
structure
Has a simple plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
argument
Some good contrasts between study and work.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
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