Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a succesful career, while other believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that deciding whether to go to
university
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or not is challenging.
While
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some people tend towards the viewpoint that getting employed straight after
school
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is the way to go, I would have to support the idea that the latter is a wiser decision. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that getting a
job
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after
school
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is somehow beneficial in the short term. One of the main reasons can be that it ensures financial stability.
This
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means that people who have had lacks on
the
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apply
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financial
part
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issues
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of
Change preposition
in
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their lives tend to get a
job
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after
school
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instead
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of continuing their education. Another reason can be that some people feel like investing 4 years of their lives in education is too much
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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they would rather learn a skill and get employed.
For example
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, most entrepreneurs did not attend any
university
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.
On the other hand
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, I agree with the viewpoint that studying at
university
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or college is a wiser decision than getting a
job
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straight after finishing
school
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.
Firstly
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, I believe that it is more
benefic
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beneficial
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in the long run,
altough
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although
students have a reputation for financial instability, I strongly believe that it is worth it in the end because the hard work pays off.
This
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is because you spend 4 years learning and acquiring knowledge about your future
job
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.
Secondly
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, I
also
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feel that going to
university
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is a wonderful experience that everyone should at least have a taste of. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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it seems to me that people’s opinions are divided, but I strongly believe that continuing your education and going to
university
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is the best way to achieve a
good paying
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good-paying
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job
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and a good quality of life in the future.

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language
Use clear links to join ideas. Use simple linking words like first, next, also, but, however to show how points fit.
content
Give more details for each point. Add clear examples to back up the idea instead of only stating it.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar more. Fix mistakes to be easy to read and to get your idea across.
structure
Clear plan with an intro, two body parts and a conclusion.
content
Shows view from both sides and has a final opinion.
coherence
Uses 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to compare views.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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