IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people).

The table provides information about the changes where
people
Use synonyms
involved
Verb problem
are involved
show examples
 in different types of activities in 3 different years in Australia
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 increased changes happened in running , aerobic and tennis direction,
while
Linking Words
 a downgrade happened in cycling and swimming activities. Most
people
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 were interested in cycling. Looking at the table, in 2001, running activity had 1.4
million
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people
Use synonyms
,
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 increase occurred in 2005 and reached the number 1.7
million
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it went up again in 2009 , which means running activity always increased during that period and had
156
Correct article usage
a 156
show examples
% change
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Aerobic activity had a slight increase in 3 different years,
firstly
Linking Words
 it was 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 ,
then
Linking Words
 1.6
million
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 in 2005 , and in 2009 it was 1.7
million
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, which means 11% of change. The number of
people
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 who played tennis
also
Linking Words
 increased by about 100,000 per year.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a 15% rise during the period. In 2001, around 1
million
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people
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 played tennis.
This
Linking Words
 figure went up to 1.1
million
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 in 2005 and reached approximately 1.2
million
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 in 2009 . In contact, participation in cycling and swimming showed an
overall
Linking Words
 decline over the period. The number of
people
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 who cycled fell significantly from 4.5
million
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 in 2001 to 3.1
million
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 in 2005, before recovering slightly to 3.6
million
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 in 2009. Despite
this
Linking Words
 increase, cycling still experienced an
overall
Linking Words
 decrease of about 20%.A similar trend was seen in swimming. In 2001, around 3.7
million
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people
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 took part in swimming, and
this
Linking Words
 figure rose slightly to 3.8
million
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 in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, it
then
Linking Words
 dropped to 3.3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009, which represented an
overall
Linking Words
 decline of approximately 10%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 4 times.
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