IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the coment-making process, and how coment is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagram illustrates the process and the materials needed in the
cement
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the concrete production.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that the processes of those two products
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 different. For
cement
Use synonyms
 making, it needs a few tools
such
Linking Words
 as a crusher,
mixer
Use synonyms
, and so on.
However
Linking Words
, for concrete creation, it just needs one machine. In terms of
cement
Use synonyms
 creation, there are two items needed, which are limestone and clay, before starting the production. The process begins by putting all the materials into the crusher to turn
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 into powder.
The next step is
Linking Words
 to turn on the
mixer
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 the powder will pass through it and continue to the rotating heater.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it requires the powder to go through the grinder, and
then
Linking Words
 the
cement
Use synonyms
 will be ready to
pack
Wrong verb form
be packed
show examples
 into bags. Regarding the concrete production, there are several materials needed.
First,
Linking Words
it needs 15% of
cement
Use synonyms
, 10% of water, 25% of sand, and 50% of gravel (small stones).
Secondly
Linking Words
, put all the items listed on the machine called the concrete
mixer
Use synonyms
. The
mixer
Use synonyms
 will spin , and
then
Linking Words
 the product
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 ready.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, mixer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • raw materials
  • grinding
  • heating process
  • kilns
  • clinker
  • gypsum
  • machinery
  • crushers
  • grinders
  • rotary kilns
  • ball mills
  • sand
  • gravel
  • versatility
  • civil engineering
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