IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Studying either all materials or specific
knowledge
Use synonyms
are being
Wrong verb form
is
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 concern
of
Change preposition
for
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 many people in order to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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effective and efficient learning in the whole world.
As
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that learning all materials will be essential to communities,
instead
Linking Words
 of trying to master
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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 topic in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 complex situation. Experiencing the general topics, either science or
social
Punctuation problem
social,
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 essential for our generation, particularly in early education. It clearly
emphasize
Verb problem
emphasises
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 the diversity of
knowledge
Use synonyms
, preventing the intelligence trap in our daily activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, learning only
science
Replace the word
the scientific
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 aspect
instead
Linking Words
 of
social
Correct article usage
the social
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 will weaken our understanding of the international
multi-culture
Use the right word
multicultural
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, which is related to the ethics of scientific research.
In addition
Linking Words
, mastering general topics
are able
Verb problem
enables one
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 to understand the different
phenomenons
Replace the word
phenomena
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 that always appear.
In addition
Linking Words
, obtaining
the
Correct article usage
a
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 diversity of
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is important to solve the complex issues throughout the world.
However
Linking Words
,
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
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 the specific topic is
also
Linking Words
 essential for people who want to be an expert
in
Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 aspect. Obviously,
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 topic may be useful for
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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 job that
are
Verb problem
does
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 not needed to know other
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as social and economic.
For instance
Linking Words
, being a sea welder does not need
neither
Rewrite the sentence
either
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 economic
nor
Correct word choice
or
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politic
Replace the word
political
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 aspects.
Along with
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 that, learning other subjects, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not
related
Punctuation problem
related,
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seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
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 to be not
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 and
unefficient
Correct your spelling
inefficient
. By focusing on the
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 subject, the education systems may become
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for communities to
rise
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 the
efficient
Replace the word
efficiency
show examples
studying
Change preposition
of studying
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since
Change preposition
from
show examples
at
Use the right word
an
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 early age.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 learning the specific
knowledge
Use synonyms
 may be useful to be an expert
in
Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 subject, understanding the general subjects
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 still essential to prevent
intelligence
Correct article usage
an intelligence
show examples
 trap in order to adapt the changing of diversity world.

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task
State your clear view at the start and restate it in the end.
coherence
Make one main idea in each body paragraph and link ideas with simple words like first, next, also, but.
language
Use only simple, short sentences and clear words.
content
Give real, easy examples that fit the point you make.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar and keep verbs in the same tense.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides and gives a final view.
structure
There are some examples to show ideas.
structure
There is a clear end line that restates the view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • discover their interests and strengths
  • basic understanding
  • interconnected world
  • higher motivation
  • deeper knowledge
  • mental health
  • reducing unnecessary stress
  • boredom
  • balanced approach
  • successful specialization
  • well-informed perspective
  • solid general education
  • freedom to delve deeper
  • specialized future career path
What to do next:
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