IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows the types of communication training taken by employees in an international company and the reasons why they took part in this training

The pie chart
demostrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 the distribution of communication training used by
employees
Use synonyms
 at an international company and their motivations for participating in the training.
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
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,there were
most
Use the right word
more
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 perfect Part-time Training in
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
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,
while
Linking Words
 holiday
travel
Use synonyms
 accounted for
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most common motivation for participation. For the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 training types,part-time training in the evening represented the largest share at 39%. Part-time training
in
Change preposition
at
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weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
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 and self-tuition were the next most common choices, and both were selected by 22% of
employees
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,the proportion of
employees
Use synonyms
 choosing intensive training and distant learning was relatively low, with only 12% and 5% of participants
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. For the reasons of taking the training, holiday
travel
Use synonyms
 was the dominant factor , which accounted for 44% of
employees
Use synonyms
.After the holiday
travel
Use synonyms
, the next most
populor
Correct your spelling
popular
 reasons were business
travel
Use synonyms
 (17%). And there were 14%
person
Check wording
people who
show examples
 participated in the training for communication with clients.
While
Linking Words
 13% of
employees
Use synonyms
 gave other reasons
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 just 10% of
employees
Use synonyms
 did it because of personal interest, which was the lowest figure of all.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employees, travel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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