IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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number of
transport
Use synonyms
 and accommodation
has
Check wording
options has
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 become
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 issue for many cities. Some authorities are motivating
businesses
Use synonyms
 to move to
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon offers benefits
such
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 as enough
space
Use synonyms
 and low-cost production, it
also
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 poses drawbacks like low
sales
Use synonyms
 and
weak
Correct article usage
a weak
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 transportation system. I opine that the disadvantages clearly outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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. There are a number of reasons why moving
businesses
Use synonyms
 to rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some benefits. One probable reason is that enough
space
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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 build shops.
For example
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,
City
Use synonyms
 has vast amount of
transport
Use synonyms
 and accommodation which surrounded on the
city
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. The
businesses
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 are feeling
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
space
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 for increasing accommodation and
transport
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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effect
Use the right word
affects
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businesses
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to manage
Change preposition
in managing
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 their stocks. If they move their
businesses
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
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 rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, they will get a lot of
space
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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solve
Verb problem
will solve
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 their
space
Use synonyms
 problem.
Therefore
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, they could overcome
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
space
Use synonyms
 issue and lead their business as they want.
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the other hand, moving
businesses
Use synonyms
 to rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 many drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 become lower. To clarify, most of the
sales
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become
Verb problem
come
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 from
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
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 amount of population that
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
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. When the business
will move
Wrong verb form
moves
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 from the
city
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,
sales
Use synonyms
 will
feel
Verb problem
experience
show examples
Correct article usage
a dramatical
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dramatical
Use the right word
dramatic
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 decline.
Whereas
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, the countryside has not the vast amount of population.
Moreover
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, usually the road system of rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 is stay bad
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is affect
Wrong verb form
affects
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 the public
transport
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, the
sales
Use synonyms
 will decrease rather than increase. In conclusion, I
retried
Verb problem
realised
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 that moving busyness in rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 has
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the disadvantage is affecting the entire business. I believe these advantages
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not valuable in front of the disadvantages.

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grammar
Fix grammar and spell wrong words. Many lines are long and hard to read. Use short, clear sentences.
structure
Make a clear intro that states your view and what will be said. End with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
organization
Use one idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence that shows the main point.
content
Give simple examples that fit the point. Do not go off track.
lexical
Use easy words. Keep to common words to explain cause and effect.
task response
You state a clear view that the bad side is stronger.
content
You give some reasons about space and cost.
coherence
You try to talk about both sides, which helps coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-urban migration
  • economic decentralization
  • congestion alleviation
  • infrastructure improvements
  • quality of life
  • operating costs
  • balanced economic growth
  • logistical challenges
  • talent pool
  • skilled labor
  • decentralizing business operations
  • cost of living
  • pollution reduction
  • job creation
  • economic development
  • supply chain management
  • urbanization pressure
  • lifestyle changes
  • distribution networks
  • local residents
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