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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, the
university
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students
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 commonly learn about their specific subject in the
university
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.
However
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, few of them want to expand their knowledge by learn other
subjects
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in addition
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 to their main
subjects
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.
However
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, others believe it is more important to focus on their main
subjects
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 to studying for a qualification. Both of views have its own advantages and disadvantages. There are several strong reason for a student who wants to learn other
subjects
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,
such
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 as to obtain more knowledges and preventing them from boring. Nowadays, many
students
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 are not feeling enough to study their own
subjects
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 in the
university
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. They are most likely tend to expand their knowledge into several
subjects
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 that they think support their hobby,
such
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 as sports or photography.
Moreover
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, several
students
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 might feel bored learn their specific subject only during
university
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 period. They only learn similar things over the time and become nightmare for the
students
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. During leisure time, they can filling their hobbies through a subject that they take.
On the other hand
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, focusing on their main
subjects
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 during the
university
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 period allows
students
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 to develop deep expertise. They can only focus on their main
subjects
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 without thinking other
subjects
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 that might not give impact to their after graduation life.
Students
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 only focus on develop their both hardskill and softskill through several activities
such
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 as practicum, conference, and collaborative learning with friends and lectures. So, after their graduation, they have a lot of experiences related to their majority in the CV. Most of companies are most likely prioritize a student with consistent experiences. In my view,
students
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 should try to combine between main
subjects
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 and addition
subjects
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 to get more benefits during
university
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.
However
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, they need to manage it properly without rule out the main
subjects
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.
To conclude
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, focusing main
subjects
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 only give
students
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 full concentration to achieve high expertise, but studying others make them have more experiences and knowledges. A balanced approach could bring the benefits of both.

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planning
Plan your essay with a simple outline: one idea for each body paragraph and a clear end.
language
Fix big grammar and word use. Use only easy words and the right form.
coherence
Use clear topic topics in each paragraph and link words to show how ideas go together.
content
Give real, easy examples from school life to back each idea.
structure
Have a good start, middle, and end. State your view at the end.
content
The essay tries to show both sides and give a view.
content
It gives why some students learn more than one subject.
structure
It ends with a call for a balance of ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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