IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, company and society. Discuss and give opinion

While
Linking Words
 it is commonly thought
Correct determiner usage
that jobs
show examples
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 switching is not highly
reccommended
Correct your spelling
recommended
, others believe
people
Use synonyms
 should change their career for
self benefit
Use the right word
self-benefit
show examples
alongs
Correct your spelling
along
 with society and business profit. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 have the power to live
happily
Punctuation problem
happily,
show examples
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
so
show examples
 you should go with the decision that won’t be a regret. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, it is argued that
people
Use synonyms
 should not make a change in their occupations. The main reason is that having built a position in your career is a
long - term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 process. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that quitting it for an
unknow
Use the right word
unknown
show examples
 path is a
life changing
Use the right word
life-changing
show examples
 decision.
For instance
Linking Words
, when somebody has gained a lot in
one
Use synonyms
 field
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 starting over in another
one
Use synonyms
 feels unstable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
consequences
Verb problem
has consequences
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their life quality or
becoming
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
 a crisis for families. Another reason is that breaking through the prejudice of turning
youself
Correct your spelling
yourself
 into a failure demands inner strength to actually take
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
action and overcome your limits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is strongly believed by others that
consider
Wrong verb form
considering
show examples
self benefit
Use the right word
self-benefit
show examples
 and social advantages
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
jobs transition
Fix the agreement mistake
job transitions
show examples
 is highly recommended.
People
Use synonyms
 often have
this
Linking Words
 opinion because you only live once and you were born to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 your time with greatness,satisfaction for
achiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
 what you want or doing things that engage you to feel
greatful
Correct your spelling
grateful
 for being alive . A second point is that as experiments have been reported from working eight to four forcefully with boredom and sadness
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 leading to sudden heart attack.
For example
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,in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 go to work with the
weight
Check wording
burden
show examples
 of paying their taxes,
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 cost.
This
Linking Words
 country has always been in the top ten worldwide of
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 dying
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 place at work. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that a career transition is not necessary; meanwhile, others assume that seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not just your advantage but
also
Linking Words
 a company and society by quitting
one
Use synonyms
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 is a wise thought
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Personally, I tend to believe that every
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
 you
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 at a time is a lesson to learn for
tommorow
Correct your spelling
tomorrow
.

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grammar
Fix small grammar errors and use plain words. Short sentences help make ideas clear.
structure
Make the opening clear and state your view. Repeat your view in the end.
content
Give one clear example for each idea. Some ideas here are not easy to see.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words to make the flow smooth from one line to the next.
content
You show both sides and give your own view at the end.
structure
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show compare and contrast.
content
Your own view is clear in the finish.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job mobility
  • career progression
  • professional development
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • employee turnover
  • workforce allocation
  • job satisfaction
  • skillset diversification
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • job market
  • stagnancy
  • continuous learning
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