IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

# 61. The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel

The table provides key information about the amount of the changes in different ways of travelling in U.K during 1985 and 2000.The units are measured in passengers per year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the total of all modes increased from 4740 to 6475.
In addition
Linking Words
, most of the ways witnessed a significant rise,
whereas
Linking Words
 taxi and bicycle were decreased.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in 1985, the car had the predominant part by 3199.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
local buses were nearly the same and represented the second one.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 bicycles and taxis had a modest
number
Use synonyms
. In terms of 2000, the
number
Use synonyms
 of user cars increased by more than 1000.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of user taxis was tripled.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the same pattern, the
number
Use synonyms
 of long-distance bus users was doubled from 54 to 124.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of users of local buses dropped to about half in 2000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: