IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares female unemployment rates in the four countries of the UK in 2013 and 2014.

The bar chart illustrates the proportions of
Use synonyms
unemployment
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unemployed
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females
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 in four different countries in the United Kingdom over a period of two years from 2013 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest proportions of
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unemployment
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unemployed
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females
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 in 2013 were in England, Wales, and Northern
Ireland
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,
while
Linking Words
Scotland
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 shared the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 percentage.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Scotland
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 had the highest
unemployment
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 figures in 2014.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Northern
Ireland
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 appeared
as
Verb problem
to have
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 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 proportion. In 2013, England accounted for the highest
rate
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 of
unemployment
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Use synonyms
females
Change preposition
among females
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 at 6.8%, followed by
Scotland
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 at 6.1%. The
rate
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 of unemployed
females
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 in Northern
Ireland
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 was more than the
rate
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 in Wales by roughly 0.2%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Scotland
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 experienced a growth in
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unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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rate
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 at approximately 6.7%. In 2014, England and Wales experienced a decline in the
rate
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 of
unemployment
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Use synonyms
females
Change preposition
for females
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 to 6.5%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and 5.0% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Northern
Ireland
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 shows a significant improvement in decreasing the
rate
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 of unemployed
females
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 by 1%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, females, ireland, scotland, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • female unemployment rates
  • four countries of the UK
  • 2013
  • 2014
  • introduce
  • overview
  • describe
  • summarize
  • observations
  • comments
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