Some people say that teenagers should work part time and earn money. this way they will learn basic ;essons and dicipline others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest after school activities discuss both views

There is no denying the fact that working part-time and learning how to earn money is important to self-expression.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that teenagers must work part-time to learn more about life,there is
also
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an argument that opposes
this
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idea.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, working will shape their personalities.
In other words
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, it improves their social skills as they treat people
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of
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different ages and backgrounds.
In addition
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, they will have self-confidence as they will learn more and feel closer to their dreams by learning the desired qualities that their dreams need.
For example
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, Oxford University published a paper that stated most businessmen were workers when they were young, as it helps them to get perfect deals and become good dealers.
On the other hand
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,some people said we must force the distraction and avoid being urgent with them to learn everything at the same time .It is
also
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possible to say that
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they should concentrate on their school subjects rather than get distracted.
Moreover
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, the qualities are more important than quantities, so mastering one thing is better than learning a little about everything without any return.
For instance
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, car mechanics earn a lot of money by mastery repairing cars. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question.On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that we should give them their time and
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not expect to be perfect at the beginning.

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structure
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
coherence
The you use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to tell the sides.
task
There is a clear ending that states a view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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