IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

In our days,
people
Use synonyms
 leave their families and friends for
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 job. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there are some positive sides, but not everything is perfect. Like in any situation, there are
also
Linking Words
 disadvantages. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are changing cities because of
work
Use synonyms
, but sometimes it can
be
Correct word order
also be
show examples
also
Linking Words
 another country. And here one of the advantages
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is new opportunities.
People
Use synonyms
 create their new life and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
 in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 place. Especially, it often happens to
people
Use synonyms
 who
leave
Use the right word
live
show examples
 in less developed countries
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they need to get
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 environment at the
Use synonyms
work place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
. That’s one of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 moving. The second reason is
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 salary. Every person needs money, and if
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Check wording
job
show examples
 can
propose
Verb problem
offer
show examples
this
Linking Words
, it’s a great chance for
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
 career. Stable income is provided with the most important things like food, accommodation
medicine
Punctuation problem
, medicine
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, education
Punctuation problem
, ant
show examples
ant
Use the right word
and
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 a lot of other things. But alternatively, drawbacks are
also
Linking Words
 present. When
people
Use synonyms
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 their close persons, sometimes it can be huge stress. Everything
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 become to be in dark
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 for
someone
Add a comma
someone,
show examples
 it’s
ruin
Correct subject-verb agreement
ruins
show examples
 their motivation.
In other words
Linking Words
, there is a chance to have depression without even
notice
Wrong verb form
noticing
show examples
 it and the consequences could
me
Use the right word
be
show examples
 sadder than expected.
While
Linking Words
 you
staying
Verb problem
are staying
show examples
 in your normal place, you get support from close
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
family or friends, which is
nit
Use the right word
not
show examples
 the same when the same is happening from
big
Correct word choice
a great
show examples
 distance. Close
people
Use synonyms
,
Change preposition
with who
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
 you exchanged on better
work
Use synonyms
, could become the worst decision after
Linking Words
while
Correct article usage
a while
show examples
 thinking. As a conclusion, we can say that both sides have their points. But from comparing praiseworthy aspects and weaknesses, we can say that each person should choose what they think is more important for them. Because sometimes their choice can cost them health.

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planning
Plan your essay on paper. A short plan helps you put ideas in order: an intro, two good points, two bad points, and a short end.
cohesion
Use link words to show how ideas go with each other. Words like first, also, but, and finally help.
development
Make each idea clear with one example. Do not go far from the idea.
grammar
Check grammar and form. Watch for wrong word forms and missing articles.
lexis
Use simple words. Keep to common words to be easy to read.
task response
You write about both sides of the issue.
coherence
There is a clear end to the essay.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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