IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Many places refuse
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cash
Use synonyms
 and seek to
use
Use synonyms
 only
cards
Use synonyms
. But there are some issues
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which stop refuse from
Use synonyms
cash
Check wording
apply
show examples
completely. So, what are
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 sides and negative sides of
this
Linking Words
 statement
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Ther
Use the right word
There
show examples
 are some advantages
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 stopping
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
Use synonyms
cash
Change preposition
of cash
show examples
.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 one is
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 at some point. Using
cards
Use synonyms
is saving
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 time
to look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 for your wallet somewhere in the bag, and after that
counting
Punctuation problem
, counting
show examples
 it
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the checkout, and in that way making other people wait longer.
Card
Correct article usage
A card
show examples
 is the solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem. You can even have all your
cards
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 phone. And it’s
also
Linking Words
 better for ecology, because humans
use
Use synonyms
 less plastic. The second positive side is buying or ordering things online. Some people don’t want to go shopping for different
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 or don’t feel in the mood to cook something.
Order
Replace the word
Ordering
show examples
 online is an easy way to save time and
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
 other important things,
while
Linking Words
 the delivery
bringing
Wrong verb form
brings
show examples
 your food to your place. But there are
also
Linking Words
 disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 decision. One of the negative sides of it
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is that elderly people are not used to using
cards
Use synonyms
, and that’s
making
Verb problem
causing
show examples
 problems for them. They used to
use
Use synonyms
cash
Use synonyms
 and to
use
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they need more time to learn than
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
nation
Check wording
generation
show examples
. They
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 easily begin to be a target for fraudsters, cause
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some exceptions about the
cards
Use synonyms
, which they don’t know.
Overall
Linking Words
, refusing
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cash
Use synonyms
is having their
Wrong verb form
has its
show examples
 benefits
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 as we see, for
now
Punctuation problem
now,
show examples
 it
could
Verb problem
may
show examples
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 the best decision because of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 majority.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a short intro that shows your view. Then write two body parts: one for good points, one for bad points. End with a short conclusion.
coherence
Make each paragraph have a clear first line. Each idea should link to the main point. Use words like also, but, so, for example.
task response
Give simple examples to back up each idea.
grammar
Watch grammar. Keep to small sentences first, then add a few longer ones with care.
task response
Try to show both sides, not only one side. State a view in the end.
content
Some good ideas are shown, like time save and online orders.
coherence
The essay tries to discuss both sides and ends with a view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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