some people believe that studying at university or college is the best rout to a successful career, while other believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
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have different opinions about whether studying at
university
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or college is the best route to success, or starting
job
Correct article usage
a job
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after school is better. Some
people
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believe that higher education gives more opportunities,
while
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others argue that working early is more useful.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the one hand, many
people
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think that studying at
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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is better because students can gain more knowledge and professional skills.
This
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means they will be more qualified for good jobs.
As a result
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, they can earn
higher
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a higher
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salary in the future.
For example
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, doctors, engineers, and lawyers must study at
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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to work in their field. Another reason why
this
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view is popular is that
university
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helps students develop social skills and independence.
In other words
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, they learn how to live alone and solve their own problems.
This
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can lead to personal growth.
For instance
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, students meet different
people
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and learn new cultures.
On the other hand
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, others believe that getting a job after school is better. The main reason for
this
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is that
people
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can start earning money earlier.
This
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means they do not waste time on long years of study.
For example
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, some
people
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become successful business owners without
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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degree.
Furthermore
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, it is argued that work experience is more important than
theory
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theoretical
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knowledge.
In other words
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, practical skills are more useful in real life.
As a result
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, young
people
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can improve their abilities faster.
For instance
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, learning directly in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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teaches responsibility and communication. In conclusion,
although
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both views have some merit, I believe that studying at
university
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is more convincing because education opens more career
chances
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opportunities
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.
Therefore
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, it can be said that higher education is better for long-term success.

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task response
The essay gives both views and your own view. To raise score, add stronger reasons for each view and link them clearly to your own view in the end.
task response
coherence and cohesion
coherence and cohesion
structure
Clear plan in the intro and a conclusion that restates view
coherence
Use of linking words like On the one hand and On the other hand
content
Examples are given to back up points
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