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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the percentage of part _time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.

The bar chart depicts part-time
Use synonyms
workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
 rates from four different
Uniyed Kigdom
Correct your spelling
United Kingdom
 regions,namely England, Northern İreland, Scotland and
Wales
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in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, part-time
employeers
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employees
 in
Wales
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recieved
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received
lion's
Correct article usage
the lion's
show examples
 share in the given years. It can be seen that part-time
personnels
Correct your spelling
personnel
 from England, Scotland and
Wales
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 had experienced an upward trend;
Linking Words
however
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however,
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 the reverse was true for
Nothern
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Northern
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 Ireland. In 1980,
England
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English
show examples
workers
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compirised
Correct your spelling
comprised
 almost
with
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apply
show examples
25%.
Afterwards
Add a comma
Afterwards,
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 it rose to 30%, increasing
almost by
Correct word order
by almost
show examples
 %5 in 2010. These
workers
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 reached the rate of
Wales
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'
workers
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 in the
year
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 1980.
Moreover
Linking Words
, part-time
workers
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 in
Wales
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
Change preposition
at the
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 highest point with around 35% in the
year
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 2010. Getting back to details,
Northen İreland
Correct your spelling
Northern Ireland
 was the third most popular working
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
 with 15% in1980 wit, and four
decade
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decades
show examples
 later it declined slowly by 2% and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 13%. In Scotland, there was a significant difference among
worker's
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workers'
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 rates
,
Punctuation problem
. Initially
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Linking Words
initially
Add a comma
initially,
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workers
Use synonyms
comprise
Wrong verb form
comprised
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of
Change preposition
apply
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10% and it doubled
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reach 20% in the
year
Use synonyms
 2010.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, wales, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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