IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As we are
acknowlaged
Correct your spelling
acknowledged
, the
scarity
Correct your spelling
scarcity
 of houses for residents to accommodate will have a negative impact on society problems
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Correct article usage
the govermant
show examples
govermant
Correct your spelling
government
 takes the responsibility for solutions to the issues.
However
Linking Words
, from my own
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
, I
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
only
Correct word choice
that only
show examples
 policymakers can contribute to these matters since
such
Linking Words
 a problem requires collective effort from
none-govermental
Correct your spelling
non-governmental
 bodies as well. Companies and individuals, as objective bodies other than
govermant
Correct your spelling
government
, can
allomeriate
Correct your spelling
alleviate
 the pressure on housing.The former one can be tackled by relocating offices and branches from the inner cities to the outskirts. By doing so,
populiatin
Correct your spelling
population
 density
willbe
Correct your spelling
will be
 spread.In
aspect
Correct article usage
the aspect
show examples
 of individual ,personal cooperation can adopt living arrangements that
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
show examples
 houses or apartments
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
optimizing
Change the spelling
optimising
show examples
 the scarce living space
avaiable
Correct your spelling
available
 in compact cities.
For instance
Linking Words
, students attending the same schools or single workers being employed in the same company can share an
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
instead
Linking Words
 of
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 houses, which geometrically reduces the room needs to accommodate the same number of people. I
also
Linking Words
 admit that policymakers
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 an important role in figuring out accommodation problems because only they
an
Use the right word
can
show examples
 conduct large-scale measures which
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
 in
far-fetch
Use the right word
far-reaching
show examples
 changes. What is needed to be considered is that
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 endeavours will not be as successful as they would be carried out in
conjuction
Correct your spelling
conjunction
 with other members of society.During the process, a tactic to
sooth
Use the right word
soothe
show examples
 accommodation scarcity is to
buil
Correct your spelling
build
 residential
skycrappers
Correct your spelling
skyscrapers
 with instinctively plausible.Other than,people opt for sharing schemes ,the rooms
avaiable
Correct your spelling
available
 can only accommodate half of the tenants they are capable of taking in. In conclusion,I disagree with the opinion.

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content
State a clear view in the introduction and keep it through the essay.
grammar
Use simple, correct sentences and fix major spellings. Check key words.
structure
Plan 3 body paragraphs: one point, one example, one reason; use linking words to show order.
content
Give one or two clear examples that show the idea.
content
Group ideas: problem -> solution including both government and non-government actions.
content
The writer shows a clear view that the issue needs more than one group to act.
ideas
Some good ideas about moving offices and sharing flats as solutions.
structure
Effort to discuss both sides and to give examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • public housing
  • overcrowding
  • affordable housing
  • rent control
  • property market
  • infrastructure development
  • sustainable living
  • rural-urban migration
  • real estate regulations
  • zoning laws
  • bureaucracy
  • gentrification
  • economic disparity
  • housing policy
  • social welfare
What to do next:
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