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Writing Samples
Band 5

In Britain, when people get old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

There has been a debate about who should pay for the
elder’s
Replace the word
elderly’s
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 nursery. In Britain, many
people
Use synonyms
 move into residential
care
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 homes where nurses provide assistance.
This
Linking Words
 type of
care
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 can be pricey,
putting
Verb problem
raising
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 a dispute
whether
Change preposition
over whether
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 or not the family or the
government
Use synonyms
 should pay. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
families
Use synonyms
 should contribute where they possibly can, the
government
Use synonyms
 must take the main responsibility. On the one hand, it is a reasonable argument that the family should pay for the elderly's expenses. Seniors spend most of their lives taking
care
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 of their
families
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, so it is only fair
if
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the children could return
this
Linking Words
 support later in their lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when
families
Use synonyms
 contribute to the elderly
care
Use synonyms
 costs, it can take away from the pressure that the
government
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 holds, allowing the
government
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 to spend money on other important resources: education, charity, and architecture.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are valid reasons why the
government
Use synonyms
 should fund elderly
care
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. Many
families
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 cannot afford the high cost of nurseries, especially if they are struggling with financial instability. Relying heavily on
families
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 could lead the inequality, where wealthy elderly
people
Use synonyms
 receive greater attention and
care
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 compared to those from poorer backgrounds.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, older citizens have paid taxes before they retire, and
Use synonyms
government funded
Use the right word
government-funded
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 can be seen as a way of returning
back
Rephrase
apply
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their contribution to the country. When the
government
Use synonyms
 pays for
care
Use synonyms
, older
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to receive reliable medical
care
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
families
Use synonyms
 should contribute emotional and financial help when they are able to do so, the
government
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 should take the main responsibility for funding for the elderly's
care
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 approach can ensure fairness and protect vulnerable old
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
state your view clearly in the first or second sentence and keep this view all through the essay
task response
give one strong reason for your view in each paragraph and end with a clear conclusion
coherence cohesion
the answer shows a clear view and uses on the one hand and on the other hand to show balance
task response
the ending repeats the view, which helps the idea stay
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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