IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of the high school curriculm (for example, working for a charity, improving the neigborhood, or teaching sports to younger children) to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Making unpaid community
service
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 a compulsory part of the high school curriculum is considered beneficial by many people,
while
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 others believe that
students
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 should focus mainly on academic subjects. By participating in activities
such
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 as charity work and teaching younger children,
students
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 can gain practical experience.
However
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, I believe that voluntary
service
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 should remain optional rather than mandatory.
Students
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 face heavy academic pressure at school. They must study many subjects which are essential for their future careers. If
students
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 spend too much time on unpaid community
service
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, they may neglect their main studies.
As a result
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, academic performance may be negatively affected by compulsory volunteering. What many supporters of community
service
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emphasize
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emphasise
show examples
 is its role in developing social responsibility.
Students
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 can improve their communication skills and may become more confident through volunteering.
For instance
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, working for charities allows teenagers to understand social problems more clearly. Not only does voluntary work encourage empathy, but it
also
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 promotes teamwork and leadership. Having considered both sides of the argument,
although
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 unpaid voluntary work can improve practical life skills, I believe that
students
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 should
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 their academic subjects to secure better career opportunities

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planning
In the intro, state your view clearly at once and show the plan for your reasons.
content
Give stronger reasons and add specific examples to back them up.
language
Use simple link words to show how ideas fit and flow from one idea to the next.
content
Clear view on the topic and a reasonable plan of ideas.
coherence
Good use of link words like However, for instance and not only... but to join ideas.
structure
Two main ideas are easy to follow and the argument is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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