The charts below show the proportion of British students at one univercity in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

The pie charts provide key information about the percentages of British pupils at one university in England who were able to speak different languages
in addition
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to English, comparing 2000 and 2010. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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the students who speak Spanish only had the highest proportion in both years.
In addition
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, people who speak German only and who speak two other languages
also
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had the same ratio in both charts.
According to
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what is shown in the first graph, in 2000, pupils who speak Spanish
arrived
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accounted
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at
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for
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30%. Some learners who did not speak any other languages illustrated 20%.
Also
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, it is evident that the same percentage appears in French only and
another
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in another
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language
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, approximately 15%.
Moreover
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, the German
language
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only and
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and only
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two other
language
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categories represented 10%. In terms of 2010, it is noticeable that there was a slight increase in the proportion of learners who speak Spanish, nearly 35%.
Also
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, another
language
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grouping rose 5%, reaching 20%.
Lastly
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, those who spoke only French and those who did not speak other
language
Use synonyms
accounted for 10%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in addition".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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