IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart illustrates the
employment
Use synonyms
 rates of the economy in the UK across the three sectors, namely
public
Correct article usage
the public
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sector
Use synonyms
,
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 and
self-employed
Correct article usage
the self-employed
show examples
 from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
employment
Use synonyms
 in both the public
sector
Use synonyms
 and the self-employed increased markedly over the period,
whereas
Linking Words
 the private
sector
Use synonyms
 declined significantly. The public
sector
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 for most of the period. With regard to the public
sector
Use synonyms
, the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 stood at approximately 38%
initially
Linking Words
, and
then
Linking Words
 remained stable until 2002.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by a dramatic rise to around 49% in 2005, before declining slightly to 45% in 2006. The
figure
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 rose gradually over the remaining years, reaching the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 of 51%. The
rate
Use synonyms
 of self-
employment
Use synonyms
 was around 18% in 2000, and
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated slightly until 2005.
This
Linking Words
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rose dramatically to about 28% by 2007,
whereas
Linking Words
 it overtook the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, before rising during the
ramaining
Correct your spelling
remaining
 period, reaching 30% in 2010. Turning to the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 had the highest percentage at 49% in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 it declined sharply and was overtaken by the
figure
Use synonyms
 for the
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
sector
Use synonyms
 at 40% in 2003.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by a dramatic fall until 2008, reaching 28% and was overtaken by the self-employed.
Finally
Linking Words
, it continued to decrease markedly over the remaining years, reaching the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of 20%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, sector, rate, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • sectors of the economy
  • upward trend
  • growth
  • stable rate
  • fluctuations
  • decline
  • services sector
  • industrial sector
  • agricultural sector
  • escalating
  • consistently
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • decade
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