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Writing Samples
Band 5

Goal of making a film is to boost the educational system. Agree or disagree.

Many people have different opinions about electronic devices in the classroom; some argue that they facilitate getting
information
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 in a short time, and interactive resources,
on the other hand
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, some believe that the
easiness
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ease
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 can block creativity and critical thinking. I think there are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 issue, having access to
information
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 and what to do with it. One high advantage of allowing
students
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 to use technology devices in the classroom is that the
information
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 can be obtained instantly from different authors and points of view;
Therefore
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,
students
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 have wide
information
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 to
analyze
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analyse
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 and choose ideas and facts to solve
issues
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according to
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 the subject in
class
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.
This
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 helps
students
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 resolve
issues
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 in several ways. In my experience, getting deep
information
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 from several authors helps to develop their own knowledge to resolve situations. That’s why many
students
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 look for
information
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 through videos and websites like Google and YouTube to resolve everyday problems.
For
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this
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 reason, most resolved
issues
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 are
due to
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 checking and getting
information
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 from the web.
On the other hand
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, some researches have shown that using electronic devices in the classroom has an impact on mental development;
Therefore
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, creativity and critical thinking can be locked to resolve common
issues
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due to
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 constantly use online
information
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, without facing problems in the real live;
Furthermore
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, the attention and concentration in
class
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 can be compromised
due to
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 distractions trough of websites or social media;
For example
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, notifications and messages from Facebook, instagram and other subscriptions. In my experience, to avoid distractions in
class
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, I turn off all notifications or leave my phone in another room.
This
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 led to focus and attention, and catching all
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information
Correct article usage
the information
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 in
class
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.

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task
Be clear on your view at the start or end. Add a short ending that repeats your main idea.
task
Give two or three good reasons for both sides, then add a firm final idea.
coherence
Use one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a small link to the next idea.
coherence
Use clear linking words to show how ideas are connected. Do not let ideas jump.
task
The essay shows both sides and a personal view.
coherence
Examples from real life and apps are used, like Google, YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram.
coherence
There are good linking words such as 'On the other hand' and 'Therefore'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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