IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below compare 2 floor plans of one trade conference held in 2009 and 2010.

The map below illustrates the comparison of 2 floor plans of a conference held within a
year
Check wording
year's
show examples
 difference.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
there's
Verb problem
there have
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 been significant changes to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
exhibition
Use synonyms
,
refereshment
Correct your spelling
refreshment
 and relaxation areas,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
concert
Use synonyms
hall
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 limited spaces. In the first year, the main
entrance
Use synonyms
 was adjacent to the
concert
Use synonyms
hall
Use synonyms
, and on the right of
this
Linking Words
entrance
Use synonyms
 is the registration unit and the side
entrance
Use synonyms
 simultaneously. Progressively, from the side
Use synonyms
entrance
Punctuation problem
entrance,
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 there's a wide
balcony
Use synonyms
 right in front, which conjoins with a small
exhibition
Use synonyms
 area at the bottom of the
balcony
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the meeting room is on the left
from
Change preposition
of
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 the
exhibition
Use synonyms
, in the same compartment as the
concert
Use synonyms
hall
Use synonyms
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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this
Linking Words
 a full-circle movement. They
also
Linking Words
 have seats in these rooms. In sharp contrast to the second year, there have been some changes, which
focuses
Correct subject-verb agreement
focus
show examples
 on relaxation and the art areas. From the main
entrance
Use synonyms
, the
exhibition
Use synonyms
 area is right in front
Punctuation problem
, with
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with
Change preposition
in
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 a much more spacious room and is detached from the
balcony
Use synonyms
. More so, left of the
entrance
Use synonyms
 is now the refreshment
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the side
entrance
Use synonyms
 still remains. The
balcony
Use synonyms
 on the far end has an addition of a lounge area,
also
Linking Words
 is now conjoined with the registration unit.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a stage consisting of
Use synonyms
concert
Correct article usage
a concert
show examples
hall
Use synonyms
 and
seat
Replace the word
seating
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 present.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words exhibition, concert, hall, entrance, balcony with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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