IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The line graph illustrates the use of time of phone calls made
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three types of ways in the UK between 1995 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the most popular way is using fixed line
through out
Use the right word
throughout
show examples
 the period,
while
Linking Words
 the least population choose to make a call via mobiles. But it shows the most significant increase in
this
Linking Words
 period. From 1995 to 1999, local calls increased steadily, from about 70
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
 to 90
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
, which was the most used type. National/
internation
Correct your spelling
international
 calls showed a similar trend, increasing from about 35
billion
Use synonyms
minutesto
Correct your spelling
minutes to
 50
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, mobile
Check wording
phones
show examples
phones'
Fix the agreement mistake
phone'
show examples
 users remained a relatively low figure. From 1999 to 2002, only
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 fixed line presented a downward trend, bouncing back to about 70
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, users of mobiles grew dramatically, from about 10
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
 to more than 40
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
. And national/
internation
Correct your spelling
international
 calls
also
Linking Words
 increased gradually, which almost reached the amount of local calls by the end of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
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