IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that climate affects a person's way of life, while others believe that climate had a bigger impact on the economy of the region. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

It is often argued that
climate
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
 impact on
people
Use synonyms
's lifestyle,
while
Linking Words
 a bunch of
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that it's true, others claim that
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of the region is more dependent on it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and argue that
climate
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more to do with
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 than
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 explaining that
people
Use synonyms
's lifestyle correlates with
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 state of the country.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is well-known that humanity is strongly dependent on
Use synonyms
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 from mild regions are able to be outdoors comfortably throughout the year.
For example
Linking Words
, California is largely associated with different types of aerobic activities,
such
Linking Words
 as surfing, cycling, running and etc. These activities are barely possible
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
 in the cold countries
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 winter, making areas with warm
Use synonyms
climate
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
show examples
 much more convenient. At the same time, in regions like Alaska, locals have
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 pull of hobbies, and they're mostly tied with ice or snow
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 hockey or skiing. Another key thing is
absence of the
Correct word order
the absence of
show examples
 sunny days and constant negative temperatures. It is statistically proven
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that those from Scandinavian countries are less resistant to depression and have
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 social contacts. All of
this
Linking Words
 leads to even bigger social isolation, dramatically decreasing
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 happiness index.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Another
show examples
 group believes that
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 is more
climate
Use synonyms
 reliant than humans
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when the region is flooded with snow, governments have to spend extra money on maintaining the cities. It mostly includes salaries for workers who clean the streets, additional equipment and cleaning chemicals. Another key thing is logistics
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 supporting
such
Linking Words
 regions with
provision
Fix the agreement mistake
provisions
show examples
 and medical supplements is very difficult.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a city in Russia called Norilsk,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is very far from
Correct article usage
the centers
show examples
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 and has
extremely
Correct article usage
an extremely
show examples
 cold
climate
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 city suffered from
climate
Use synonyms
 disasters many times in the past. No humanitarian help
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 provided in time,
due to
Linking Words
 the distance and absence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
roads. It all shows how
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
problematic
can
Correct pronoun usage
it can
show examples
 be
sustaining
Wrong verb form
to sustain
show examples
 the places where
Use synonyms
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 is rough.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 impact perspective
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 solid points,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with the one that
sticks
Verb problem
focuses
show examples
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the affect
show examples
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
 on human lifestyle. It explains how
climate
Use synonyms
 affects a person more than an
economy
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 by explaining how surroundings change
people
Use synonyms
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, individuals are the ones
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 impacted by
climate
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
,
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
 in their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 directly
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples

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task response
Task response: You tried to cover both sides and give your view. Make a clear plan. Start with a clear thesis in the intro. Each idea should have a point and a small example.
coherence
Coherence: Link ideas with easy words. Use connectors like first, also, but, so. Make each paragraph have one main idea.
content
You use real places as examples.
structure
You give your own view at the end.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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