IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Sollutions to change negative acttitudes?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that international tourism is not a good option for their country and would prefer an internal form. 
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other ones'
tought
Correct your spelling
thought
 is that
foreigns
Use the right word
foreigners
show examples
 are a fundamental resource for their Nation. The reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 form of closure to foreign
people
Use synonyms
 could be related to some
sigle
Correct your spelling
single
 episodes of damaged arts or bad treatment of national fundamentals by international tourists.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 living in small cities have a "strict" mentality and aren't too
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
incline
Replace the word
inclined
show examples
 to different habits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some "changes" related to the interaction with
people
Use synonyms
 differing from the ordinary
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 could
be hardly
Correct word order
hardly be
show examples
 afforded by some citizens. In my opinion, international tourism is a real sign of the "
civilization
Change the spelling
civilisation
show examples
" of each country.  
Be
Wrong verb form
Being
show examples
 familiar and friendly with foreign
people
Use synonyms
 is a sign of respect. Nobody
sould
Correct your spelling
should
 feel uncomfortable in a different place, particularly if they are paying money to visit that place. Foreign
people
Use synonyms
 have a pivotal role in a Nation, since they guarantee an exchange of cultures.
For example
Linking Words
, if many French tourists come to the same city for a journey, after
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 many residents could learn
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 language. 
Thereafter
Linking Words
, international tourism could improve some aspects related to a higher amount of funds given by the Government to the tertiary system. A wider
sensibilization
Check wording
sensitisation
show examples
 to
this
Linking Words
 problem by each Nation, particularly among young
people
Use synonyms
, could improve
this
Linking Words
 negative
actitude
Correct your spelling
attitude
.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, in primary
schools
Punctuation problem
schools,
show examples
 children should learn how to interact with
foreigns
Use the right word
foreigners
show examples
.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 some rules could be helpful to guarantee a minimum standard of services to international tourists.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro, then two or three body parts, and finish with a clear end.
linking
Make each paragraph hold one main idea. Use linking words to move from idea to idea.
content
Use simple examples to show your point. Check facts and spell words.
language
Watch spelling and grammar. Use common words and short phrases.
content
Try to show both sides of the topic and end with your view.
stance
Clear view on the topic and a sense of how people feel.
content
Some good ideas on how culture can grow from travel.
example
Use of an example of tourists to explain an effect.
tone
Friendly tone and respect for visitors.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: