Some believe that celebrities' support of international aid organizations draws attention to problems, while others think that celebrities make problems less important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many famous
people
Use synonyms
support
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global aid organisations to raise awareness about various issues.
While
Linking Words
some believe
this
Linking Words
is a positive trend that helps to solve
problems
Use synonyms
, meanwhile, others argue that it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
seem less important.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
and explain why I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
that celebrity support is generally beneficial. On the one hand,
celebrities
Use synonyms
can help by attracting a lot of attention to international
problems
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, famous
people
Use synonyms
have millions of fans on social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if
celebrities
Use synonyms
share information about
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
or poverty, their followers will see
immediately
Correct pronoun usage
it immediately
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
helps to raise awareness much faster than traditional news.
For example
Linking Words
, many stars use their fame to collect money for victims of wars or natural disasters, and
this
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
often leads to millions of dollars in donations. Without their help, many
people
Use synonyms
would not even know that these
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
exist.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
that
celebrities
Use synonyms
can make serious issues seem less important or distract
people
Use synonyms
's attention from real
problems
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the public might focus on a famous person's life or clothes rather than the
actually
Replace the word
actual
show examples
crisis.
In addition
Linking Words
, critics argue that if
people
Use synonyms
see
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
constantly through the media, they may start to think that disasters are normal
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
traffic jams or factory pollution.
As a result
Linking Words
, the real cause of these crises
often
Verb problem
is often
show examples
ignored, and no permanent solutions are found. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
it is true that
celebrities
Use synonyms
can sometimes overshadow the real issues, I believe that their support is mostly positive. Their ability to reach millions of
people
Use synonyms
and raise large amounts of money is more important than the potential disadvantages. In my opinion, international
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
should continue to work with famous
people
Use synonyms
to ensure that world
problems
Use synonyms
are not forgotten.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Use clear signs to show how ideas go from one point to the next.
grammar
Fix grammar and spell error so the text is easy to read.
organization
Make one strong idea in each paragraph with a clear link to your view.
development
Give more real examples or facts to back each point.
grammar
Check form with plurals and verb endings (s, ed).
task
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
content
There are good points for both sides.
cohesion
The essay has a plan with intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public following
  • Media presence
  • Raise awareness
  • Fundraising potential
  • Public skepticism
  • Publicity stunt
  • Oversimplify complex issues
  • Misinterpretation or misunderstanding
  • Credibility
  • Trust and legitimacy
  • Shift the focus
  • Dilute the seriousness
  • Personal stories
  • Humanize the issue
  • Genuine action
  • Empathy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: