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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a children's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both advantages of each method and give your own opinion.

lot
Correct article usage
A lot
show examples
 of arguments have been raised as to whether
ihome schooling lads
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
 is good for the
child
Use synonyms
's development or the
child
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to go to
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay explores
both
Use synonyms
 the advantages of instructing minors at
home
Use synonyms
as well as
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 in the
school
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
environment
Punctuation problem
environment,
show examples
while
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 giving my firm opinion on the importance of homeschooling them.
To begin
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 with, one major advantage of homeschooling is that the
home
Use synonyms
 is the first learning
environment
Use synonyms
 of the
child
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 learning has begun at its earliest right from the birth of the
child
Use synonyms
. From birth, a
child
Use synonyms
 first learns how to sit, crawl, stand and
then
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 walk
through
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of the caregiver. Moreso, a
Use synonyms
home schooled
Use the right word
home-schooled
show examples
child
Use synonyms
 is well taken care of, adequately fed, nurtured and learns best owing to the individual attention he/ she
receives
Correct subject-verb agreement
receive
show examples
 from the caregiver. Taking care of
children
Use synonyms
 is done in a careful and hygienically friendly manner to avoid
contacting
Use the right word
contracting
show examples
 diseases
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
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 can only be achieved where there is
individualized
Change the spelling
individualised
show examples
 care.
For instance
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, A famous blog article stated that homeschooled
children
Use synonyms
 tend to become better members of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Another advantage of homeschooling is the fact that it exposes the kids to a vast learning experience outside the
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum.
Home
Use synonyms
 schooling integrates
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum and life skills.
For example
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, a
child
Use synonyms
 who is instructed at
home
Use synonyms
 learns other skills
such
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 as cooking, farming, etc.
On the other hand
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, the first advantage of attending a formal education setting is the ability it gives
children
Use synonyms
 to
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
show examples
 with
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others.
Socialization
Change the spelling
Socialisation
show examples
 is an integral part of human development and should be embraced
whole heartedly
Use the right word
wholeheartedly
show examples
.
For instance
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, research has it that
children
Use synonyms
 learn from their peers through
socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
show examples
.
In addition
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, enrolling wards in the academic
environment
Use synonyms
 Offers the parents and caregivers a safe place
for keeping
Change preposition
to keep
show examples
 their wards
while
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 they are at work. The academic
environment
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 instructing
pupils
Punctuation problem
pupils,
show examples
 provides assistance to parents by
safe
Correct word order
apply
show examples
keeping their wards
during
Correct word order
safe during
show examples
 work hours. In conclusion, as much as
both
Use synonyms
 homeschooling and attending a formal education setting
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 advantages of
both
Use synonyms
 safekeeping,
socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
show examples
,
individualized
Change the spelling
individualised
show examples
 caregiving and Integration of other skills, it is my firm opinion that
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught at
home
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Say your view first, then talk about both sides with enough detail, and end with your own view.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
content
Add a real or clear example for each point and link it to your main idea.
grammar
Check grammar. Break long sentences into smaller ones and use simple forms.
lexical
Keep to common, simple words. Avoid hard words that are not in the top 100.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas (and, but, also, however, for example).
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of the question.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
content
Some points have examples or notes to support them.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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