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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentage of Internet users in three countries from 1999 to 2009 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart
graph
Check wording
apply
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illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Use synonyms
usage
Replace the word
users
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 in three different countries
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 US, Canada and
Mexico
Use synonyms
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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 1999 to 2009. Units are in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 customers in
Canadian
Replace the word
Canada
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 rose sharply, and the US saw a steady increase,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mexico
Use synonyms
climbed slowly
Wrong verb form
saw a slow increase
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 throughout the period.
While
Linking Words
 the
figure
Check wording
number
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 of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in
Canadian
Replace the word
Canada
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 increased dramatically from about 20% to 35% units between 1999 and 2001, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Use synonyms
buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
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 in the US
started
Verb problem
increased
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 from roughly 28 % to the least 44%, and
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Mexico
Replace the word
Mexican
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users
Use synonyms
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
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 a
slowly
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slow
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 growth from 10% to 15% in the first four years. In 2003, both canadine
users
Use synonyms
 reached the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
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 point 52%, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mexico
Use synonyms
 went up minimally
approximately
Punctuation problem
, approximately
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 28%, but the US
faced
Verb problem
reached
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 a low point
around
Change preposition
of around
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 50%. In the following six years,
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
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 citizens using the
internet
Use synonyms
 reached the highest point
100
Change preposition
of 100
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%
in
Change preposition
at
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 the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
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 ,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of US
users
Use synonyms
 dropped
70
Change preposition
to 70
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% and the
number
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 of Mexican
users
Use synonyms
 climbed
steadily
Punctuation problem
steadily,
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reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 40%
in
Change preposition
at
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 the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, internet, mexico, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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