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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some systems require students to specialize in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of these two education systems and which is better?

Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 are arguing about which type of education is better. Some schools think that there is no need to study all the subjects, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other systems have
other
Correct word choice
a different
show examples
 opinion about that. Both of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 options have their advantages, but I personally agree with the latter point of view and strongly assert that
students
Use synonyms
 should learn all subjects. First of all, if
students
Use synonyms
 have
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
 range of subjects from the age of
fifteen
Punctuation problem
fifteen,
show examples
 that means that they can already choose
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 lessons
what
Correct word choice
that
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 they need.
For example
Linking Words
, if
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to become a doctor, they don't need to study arts or history. They can attend school for biology and
chemestry
Correct your spelling
chemistry
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 can focus on what they really need.
Their
Use the right word
There
show examples
 is another point of view.
Studing
Correct your spelling
Studying
 everything until
end of the
Correct word order
the end of
show examples
 school
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has positive sides. At
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of fifteen, teenagers still try to find
theirselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some humans already know who they want to be in the future, some
people
Use synonyms
 need more time to think
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 unlimited lessons can help them with
this
Linking Words
.
While
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 attending different
classes
Punctuation problem
classes,
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
creat
Use the right word
creates
show examples
 a good imagination and thoughts
ouitside
Correct your spelling
outside
 the box. In my opinion,
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 more lessons till
end of the
Correct word order
the end of
show examples
 school
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will help those
people
Use synonyms
 who can't imagine their future and they still have time to think until
univercity
Correct your spelling
university
 or
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
, but
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 an option for other types of
students
Use synonyms
. As a conclusion, I can say that
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 options of studies
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have their positive sides
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 just for different types of
students
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
variand
Correct your spelling
variant
, but in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the second option can be
usefful
Correct your spelling
useful
 for all types of
students
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
State your clear view in the first line and keep it in the end. Give two or three strong reasons and a simple example for each. Make each paragraph hold one main idea that links to the topic.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple, clear links to connect ideas. Start with 'First', then 'Next', 'Also', 'But', and finish with 'Therefore' or 'So'. Ensure the end repeats your view.
Task response
You show a view and try to compare the two types of education.
Coherence
There is a final sentence that gives your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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