Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, life has changed significantly. especially in education.
This
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includes how children play a musical instrument. Some people agree that every child should know how to play music,
while
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others disagree with playing music. Both of them have significant points.
This
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assay will provide key information on both points. On one hand, in terms of the agreement, there are many significant points. One reason that playing music can help kids in education and decrease the level of health problems.
For example
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, it decreases the brain issues.
In addition
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, it improves future skills.
For example
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, the hand skill.
On the other hand
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, in terms of the secondary disagreement, there are many dramatic
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.
This
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is
due to
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the negative impact.
First,
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if a child plays a musical instrument, they will reduce their other life determinations.
This
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can damage the health and the body's stability.
For example
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, it will damage the control of life. Another reason, it will stop the stability of the education. In conclusion,
according to
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the data , there are many benefits.
However
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, there are many harmful
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. The benefits are more than the harm
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.
Therefore
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, the government recommends people follow the
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for positive results and a smart future.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first line and keep it in mind.
task response
Give two clear ideas and explain with a small example.
coherence
Use connect words like also, but, so to show how ideas tie.
coherence
Put ideas in separate paragraphs. Intro, body, and conclusion should fit.
lexical
Choose exact words for music and instrument, and avoid repeating words.
grammar
Watch grammar; fix run on sentences and wrong form.
task response
Your essay tries to cover both sides.
coherence
There are two body parts that talk about each view.
task response
There is a conclusion that tries to finish the idea.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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