IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Describe the problem you had with the tickets. Say why you were unhappy with the staff. Suggest what action the train company should take.

Dear Sir, My name is
radha
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Radha
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and
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, and
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 I am writing
this
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 letter to show my disappointment regarding the train
tickets
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 which I bought a week ago.
Last
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sunday
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Sunday
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, I booked a ticket from
delhi
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Delhi
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 to
amritsar
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Amritsar
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and
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, and
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 I thought
It
Fix capitalization
it
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should
Verb problem
would
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 be better to book it in advance.The day of my journey
when
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, when
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 I entered
in
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apply
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the
train
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train,
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 the
staff
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 did not
allowe
Correct your spelling
allow
 me to come into the train
it
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. It
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 was
really
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a really
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imbarrased
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embarrassing
 thing which they did in front of everyone.
Moreover
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, I tried to insist
Correct word choice
that them
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them
Correct pronoun usage
they
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to
Verb problem
apply
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check my
Use synonyms
tickets
Fix the agreement mistake
ticket
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propery
Correct your spelling
properly
but
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, but
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 they said it was not
valid
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a valid
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 ticket. Even though
,
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apply
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 I totally remember I reserved
tickets
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 with full payment
and
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, and
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aslo
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also
 I have
receipt
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a receipt
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 of it. I really felt so bad
due to
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 the behaviour of
railway
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the railway
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staff
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 as
the
Use the right word
they
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 did not listen to me and they did not even check my
tickets
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as well
Rephrase
apply
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.
Additionally
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, I asked them
please
Verb problem
to please
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called
Wrong verb form
call
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 your senior, so I can check the status of my current reservation
,
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;
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Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 they refused to call him. Later on, a senior
staff
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came
Check wording
member came
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 towards me and used very abusive words
which
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, which
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 was really not
tolerate
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tolerable
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. I was so shocked about that. I would like to suggest
you
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that you
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to
Verb problem
apply
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please keep your
staff
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 educated and
well mannered
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well-mannered
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, so that they
ought to
Verb problem
apply
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know how to talk with any passengers
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. Also
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also
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also,
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 I want
negociation
Correct your spelling
negotiation
 of the ticket.
Moreover
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, give me the full refund of it. I hope you will understand my situation and
take
Use the right word
make
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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 decision. I look forward to your
respose
Correct your spelling
response
. Yours faithfully, Radha.

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structure
Break the letter into clear parts: opening, problem, reaction, and what you want.
coherence
Use one idea per paragraph and start each paragraph with a clear idea.
tone
Keep a calm, polite tone and avoid rude words even when you are upset.
vocabulary
Use simple, base words and say what you want in a short, clear way.
content
The letter tells the problem in full and gives a clear request for a refund.
tone
It keeps a formal start and end, with 'Dear Sir' and 'Yours faithfully'.
content
It shows your feelings about how you were treated.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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