IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph shows the number of visitors per month in summer in 2013 to different kind of museums such as BRITISH,NATURAL,SCIENCE

The linear graph delineates information regarding
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of visitors for 3 different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of museums
differentiating
Punctuation problem
, differentiating
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 between Natural History, Science,
British
Correct word choice
and British
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starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
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 from
June
Use synonyms
 projection through September in 2013. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the tendency for British and Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 among
people
Use synonyms
 revealed
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for individuals who
favor
Verb problem
prefer
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 to visit
Natural
Correct article usage
the Natural
show examples
 History
Museum
Use synonyms
 showed a downward trend in the given timeframe. At the inception of the period
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
June
Use synonyms
,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Fix capitalization
Museum
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 emerged as
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular one among
people
Use synonyms
 almost 600
thousand
Use synonyms
. After hitting its peak at just above 700
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals in July, it experienced volatility and finished
term
Correct article usage
the term
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 by almost returning to its initial form.
Science
Correct article usage
The Science
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Fix capitalization
Museum
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 was less
preferable
Correct word choice
popular
show examples
 among visitors in
June
Use synonyms
 which stood
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 400
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
. However
show examples
however
Linking Words
, after witnessing fall until August, it displayed a noticeable increase
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
September by
Correct word order
by September
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reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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 over 400
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. Intriguingly ,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start of the period,
Natural
Correct article usage
the Natural
show examples
 History
Museum
Use synonyms
 were
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
consideration
Check wording
most-considered attraction
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 for visitors
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 almost
hitting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
600
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 monthly. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the data for
this
Linking Words
 pattern illustrated a gradual rise in the
last
Linking Words
 month by completing under 500
thousand
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
, it experienced a sharp decline and remained constant from
June
Use synonyms
 to August.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words june, museum, people, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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