IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Life
Use synonyms
 is a most valuable thing of living
specie
Fix the agreement mistake
species
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of ways
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 which it can
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
effected
Use the right word
affected
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the most concerning way is through
water
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 human
life
Use synonyms
 and wildlife.Rivers , lakes, and seas are the major causes
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
effecting
Use the right word
affecting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will write
some
Change preposition
about some
show examples
 causes of
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it’s
Use the right word
its
show examples
 effect on animal and human
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the major cause of
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.They are the culprit for throwing waste in rivers,lakes, and seas like cans, plastic
bottle
Fix the agreement mistake
bottles
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 and food wrappers.
As a result
Linking Words
 , it leads to difficulty in breathing inside
water
Use synonyms
 for sea animals
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the
water
Use synonyms
 is used by
humans
Punctuation problem
humans,
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 get affected
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 it and get
il
Use the right word
ill
show examples
. Another major cause that leads to
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is the waste
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
chemicals
Punctuation problem
chemicals,
show examples
 that
releases
Wrong verb form
are released
show examples
 from factories and industries
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
 animal
life
Use synonyms
 when mixed with rivers, lakes and seas.
This
Linking Words
 can be
Use synonyms
life threatening
Use the right word
life-threatening
show examples
 for
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 .
In contrast
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 it can
also
Linking Words
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human society because
water
Use synonyms
 is the daily use for humans to clean themselves , to clean houses and much more and because of toxic
water
Use synonyms
human
Punctuation problem
, human
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 can suffer from many diseases. In conclusion,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to
take-care
Use the right word
take care
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 because they are the main issue that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 causing
water
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 by throwing waste like plastic bottles and cans
along with
Linking Words
 toxic chemicals that
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 from factories
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can harm both animal
life
Use synonyms
 and human society.

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task response
You discuss causes and effects, but the points are not clear and need more detail.
coherence
Use clear signs to show your ideas. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and use linking words.
grammar
Fix basic grammar mistakes (its, punctuation). Keep sentences short and simple.
structure
Intro shows there is a plan to discuss causes and effects.
content
Essay mentions both animal life and human life.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contamination
  • industrial discharge
  • untreated sewage
  • agricultural runoff
  • pesticides
  • oil spills
  • microplastics
  • eutrophication
  • algal blooms
  • marine dumping
  • bioaccumulation
  • ecosystem
  • biodiversity
  • public health
  • waterborne diseases
  • fishing industry
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental regulations
  • waste management
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