IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that using chemicals in food is detrimental to our health. Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years, the question
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
 using
chemicals
Use synonyms
 in
food
Use synonyms
 is detrimental to our health has become widely debated. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
chemicals
Use synonyms
 lead to problems with health,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 with decreasing waste and storing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 time.
However
Linking Words
,
im
Correct your spelling
in
 my opinion, the danger of adding extra
chemicals
Use synonyms
 in the
food
Use synonyms
 provides more disadvantages that sometimes can lead to vital mistakes. It is widely acknowledged that
chamicals
Correct your spelling
chemicals
 have a significant impact on
human's
Check wording
human
show examples
 health and put under a risk pregnant women, children,
people
Use synonyms
 with diabetes and
hart
Use the right word
heart
show examples
injuries
Check wording
injury patients at risk
show examples
. There is no denying that the poison in the
food
Use synonyms
 that keeps it fresh for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 period of time, sharply
lower
Replace the word
lowers
show examples
 the nutritional value of vegetables, fruits or meat.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is well
known
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
 fact that in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 they use
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 range of
chemicals
Use synonyms
 that are used in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products to keep
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
Linking Words
last
Replace the word
lasting
show examples
 longer and to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more flavorful.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
Europe
Punctuation problem
Europe,
show examples
 most of those poisons are banned. The scientific research shows that the major number of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 population has obesity, heart diseases,
diabetes
Correct word choice
and diabetes
show examples
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
which has been
coused
Correct your spelling
caused
 by
chemicals
Use synonyms
 and
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 amount of sugar,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Europe
Punctuation problem
Europe,
show examples
 the data illustrates significantly lower levels of
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
chamicals
Correct your spelling
chemicals
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 to prevent the fast spoiling of products, which leads to reducing the waste.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, farmers can plant more and more fruits and vegetables because the due date
increased
Verb problem
has increased
show examples
. A key argument in favour of
this
Linking Words
 is that the scientists
ren
Use the right word
ran
show examples
 thousands of tests before implementing the
chemicals
Use synonyms
 in the
food
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they have strict rules
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to reduce the harm. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 the aforementioned points, I
beliave
Correct your spelling
believe
 that reducing the use of poisons in
food
Use synonyms
 overweight the advantages.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will learn how to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible consumers and will buy less
food
Use synonyms
 because the due date will be much shorter and they need to calculate smartly the amount of products they need to
but
Use the right word
buy
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, I strongly think that the risk of having obesity or diabetes will drop, and
people
Use synonyms
 will become happier and healthier.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Use four parts: opening, 2 body parts, and a close.
language
Make sentences clear and short. Try one idea in each sentence.
content
Explain each point more. Add one or two real facts or clear examples.
language
Check spell and form. Fix 'chamicals' to 'chemicals', 'USA' and 'Europe' use.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and cause, like First, Also, But, So.
content
You show a view and give your own opinion at the end.
content
You mention a country example to back your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chemicals
  • health
  • danger
  • risk
  • harm
  • safe
  • unsafe
  • long-term
  • short-term
  • evidence
  • study
  • data
  • effect
  • result
  • advantage
  • benefit
  • disadvantage
  • drawback
  • balance
  • regulate
  • rule
  • label
  • amount
  • level
  • food
  • eat
  • grow
  • shelf life
  • waste
  • price
  • organic
  • market
  • safety
  • test
  • control
  • guideline
  • exposure
  • residue
  • contain
  • process
  • consumer
  • policy
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